Listing season is again upon us.
Kids have Chrismukah lists, Kelly Clarkson (or Vanessa Williams, whichever you version you prefer) has a grown-up Christmas list, mom has a longer than usual grocery list, Rustin Dodd just made a Christmas movies list, TIME has end of the year and decade lists and soon so will just about any other form of media.
Everyone loves a good list.
With that in mind, here is a nice December addition of List Mania. For those not in the know, List Mania is an ode to Joe Posnanski, who famously wrote lists until one day, many years ago, he wrote a column saying he would never list again.
So here goes…
Two ideal next jobs for Mark Mangino (not including obvious weight-related jokes, like donut taster)
1. Lumberjack (who’s better at sawing wood?)
2. Stunt double for a movie about “Baby Mangino”
Three places where Mark Mangino need not apply for work (not including obvious weight-related jokes, like a gym)
1. The BCS committee
2. KU Parking
3. Philosophy department (We all know Mangino never deals with hypotheticals)
Three regular songs that sound like Christmas songs
1. Vanessa Carlton, “1,000 Miles*”
2. Michael Buble, “Home”
3. Norah Jones, “Don’t Know Why”
*And this is not because it was featured on one of those old Christmas jewelry/Lexus holiday commercials. Trust me, listen, and you’ll think Christmas.
Four really good modern Christmas songs
1. “Winter Song” by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson
2. “Christmases When You Were Mine” by Taylor Swift
3. “Believe” by Josh Groban
4. “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” by NSync
Five places you never visit once you graduate college
1. The library
2. The student union
3. The rec center
4. Office hours
5. The quad
Six reasons why, if not for Stephen Colbert, no one would have even noticed that the Winter Olympics begin in about two months
1. Usain Bolt and the Jamaican bobsled team didn’t make it.
2. When the water is frozen, Michael Phelps can’t swim as well.
3. Campbell’s got rid of those Nancy Kerrigan commercials a long time ago.
4. Bode Miller hasn’t partied often enough.
5. The Russian judges can’t cause controversy like they used to.
6. They’re in Canada.
Three of the best Kansas City ways to enjoy the Christmas season
1. A drive through Mission Hills
2. Ice skating at Crown Center
3. Dinner at the Plaza
Two people who weren’t considered for flipping the lights at the Plaza on Thanksgiving night
1. Larry Johnson
2. Mayor Mark Funkhouser’s wife
One disturbing, yet entertaining holiday Web site to check out
1. Sketchy Santas
Five college basketball players who are as fun to watch as John Wall
1. Xavier Henry, Kansas
2. Greg Monroe, Georgetown
3. Denis Clemente, Kansas State
4. James Anderson, Oklahoma State
5. Isaiah Thomas, Washington
Four wishes for 2010
1. USA making it out of pool play in the World Cup
2. The ending of the Tiger Woods media frenzy
3. Matt Cassell having a QB rating higher than 34
4. Sherron Collins getting drafted in the first round
1. Did he get her a Jared?
2. What happened in Vegas?
3. Did Sarah Palin mean rouge, instead of rogue?
4. How long until one of Tiger Woods’ mistresses writes a book?
5. Could Scot Pollard please replace Greg Gurley on the Jayhawk Network?
6. Do you hear what I hear?