For the newcomers to this series, I’ll sum it up quickly: I love bad movies, love watching them as long as I know in advance that they will suck. And a couple months ago, I decided to write about one of them, keeping a live blog, in order to be productive. The end result was a massive net loss of productivity, a loss great enough to make me want to do it again!
Because the wonderful fairy tale our parents read to us just wasn’t long enough or violent enough or apparently featured enough cleavage,* Warner Bros. decided to unleash a REAL version of “Red Riding Hood” for us, starring Amanda Seyfried. And Amanda Seyfried isn’t just a girl who wants to visit her grandmother. She is trapped in a love triangle that is as arbitrary as it is requisite for the makeup of any bad movie. But it gets better. This isn’t just a love triangle. This is a love QUADRANGLE, because the big bad wolf must get involved at some point. Interest piqued yet? Don’t worry the 89 percent of critics who panned the movie didn’t find anything about it worthwhile, either.
*Length, violence, cleavage – the three nouns most often brought up in Hollywood studio meetings
Now, on to our feature presentation… Continue reading
The Brew House 